Blogging Up The Aisle

The events of Friday the 29th of April 2011 will go down in history. Of course I'm talking about the Macaroni Cheese I made Dan & Charlie (Of Flat 29 Fame) who came to visit me in my "New Abode" for the Bank Holiday. Oh yes, and that minor matter of a Royal Wedding! 


We celebrated the event by watching the BBC coverage with the sound down speculating on the content of the vows, the hymns, and the actions of the various wizards and warlocks who attended. We broadcasted it live on the Interwebs so that 'the world' could watch us, watching the big event. It was during this wedding that it dawned on me; I am having a bloody wedding quite soonish!


My wedding date is set for the July 28th 2012 which at times feels like ages away but realistically is drawing ever closer. There are a lot of things to think about and organise, so many decisions to make. Like, is it suitable to walk down the aisle to 'Don't Stop Believing' by Journey? Should I use the original version or the Glee version? Should I compose my own arrangement of the song as part of a larger musical production that is the wedding? Should the Celebrant have a guitar solo?  All these things need consideration.


Luckily my Fiancee Hannah is very good at organising things and will quite happily take hold of the reins. I have decided that I will be in charge of music for the day as this is the only area I feel qualified enough handle. 


I have heard  that as it is a Civil Ceremony (which I hope it will be!) any music during the service cannot have any religious words or connotations. Hymns are definitely a no no. But I wonder where the line is drawn here. Imagine I am an average man who likes indie music (it's not hard) and want to play some Kaiser Chiefs at the ceremony and the roadie pushes play and out comes 'Oh my God I can't believe it, I've never been this far away from home'. An odd choice I know but would that be allowed? It's not a religious hymn per se but could be regarded as an Indie hymn. The subject of the song is exclaiming his alarm at not being in his home to his religious figurehead. Much like I'm sure Jesus once did when he found himself preaching in a dodgy area perhaps outside of a remote outlet of Subway with poor street lighting and shady hooded figures. I've not read all of the bible but I'm sure that's probably in there somewhere? So as you can see it's not a simple task. There is a lot more to my job than meets the eye, or that's how I'm trying to make it look so my contribution seems more worthwhile!


We will be having some kind of disco in the evening which should be easy to do. And then there will be the first dance. This is a tricky number to pick. You either go with heart-wrenching ballad whilst hugging each other rocking back and forth with the occasional kiss and round of applause/cry or you rehearse some kind of amazing dance to an unlikely soundtrack like a modern take on the Tango to Justine Biebers.


So far in dancing I have excelled in chair dancing, no legs required, jumping up and down and pointing at the sky or running dances. These aren't real dance styles just my approximations. Now I just need to find an appropriate soundtrack to feature my talents. Any suggestions would be welcome.


Maybe it would be easier overall if I just accompanied the wedding on my piano, much like a superstar DJ I could judge the mood of the crowd. When everyone is falling asleep after the food at the reception BANG! I'll play Chopsticks. This would re-energise the guests and make them more happy. Although as I will need to participate in 99% of the wedding activities this may be impractical. 


Whatever I end up arranging I am sure it will be a day to remember and will be televised on a global scale with trees at the venue, tacky souvenir mugs and flags and limited edition commemorative biscuit collections.